Guidelines for Mother of the Bride or Groom and all the family on communication and organisation during wedding planning
Know your role in the wedding and agree it with the bride and groom (or each other).
If you’re the Mother of the Bride or Groom, think about what kind of relationship you want with your new son or daughter-in-law. They may also want you to feel included in their day and their lives and it will help if you each think of the others’ needs. You may be able to help them greatly in many ways, and they will have their own ideas that they will want you to hear. If you help establish a great relationship with both of the happy couple, you can benefit for many years after the big day.
Assert yourself. Honest open communication helps people accomodate people’s needs.
Be someone who can be talked to directly and easily. Encourage people to remember everyone’s needs and to be mature enough for tact and consideration for others.
Assert yourself but appropriately. Realise the consequences of what you say and your requests. The budget, guest list, seating plan and theme can easily be disrupted.
Check what should be said to whom. Telling people wedding secrets can annoy the bride and groom.
Aim for direct communication with everyone about issues. When communication is indirect, check for people telling tales; aggressive behaviour that is masked to seem innocent; unreasonable requests and grudges being kept.
Find ways to accomodate others, especially those who contribute financially.
If anyone is throwing a tantrum, remember how important it is to build great long-term relationships. Ask everyone to act take responsibility for their effect on others, the budget and making the day work well. If someone gets upset, it doesn’t automatically mean you have to change your plans, but do think about what’s reasonable in the situation and listen to suggestions from others .